I'm sure you all have heard of the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you have them do unto you."  In plain English, it just means that you should treat others the way you want them to treat you.  When applied to a relationship, this one rule alone should govern every decision you make in that relationship.

Basically, before you make any decision or take any action in a relationship, ask yourself one question:  "If my partner were to do the same thing, how would I feel about it?"  If it would upset or bother you, chances are, your partner would feel the same way.

Of course, knowing the boundaries of the relationship is important in making these decisions.  You must communicate with your partner to determine what those boundaries are.  However, sometimes getting near the line can be almost as hurtful as crossing the line.

Let's say an old flame calls you, maybe even invites you out to lunch.  Do you tell you partner about the call?  Do you accept the invitation?   Well, ask yourself how your partner would feel if you did tell them, or if you went on the lunch date.  More importantly, ask yourself how you would feel if your partner did the same.

Maybe you've met someone, a co-worker, or a mutual friend.  You've been spending a lot of time with this person.  Things may have even gotten physical, even if not sexual (yet).  Have you crossed the line?  Maybe not, but how you feel if you knew your partner was doing the same thing?

Perhaps there's a major financial decision to make.  Maybe you've come into some extra money and you want to buy that one thing you've really been wanting.  Or maybe money's tight, and you don't know which bills to pay and which ones to put off.  Before you make a decision, put yourself in your partner's shoes and ask yourself how you would feel if they made the decision you are contemplating, before you act.

It's a very simple concept, really.  Before you act, ask yourself how you would feel if the roles were reversed.  This one simple rule will go a long way to ensuring that you and your partner are always on the same page. 

This article is an excerpt from the book Missing Pieces: 21 Secrets of a Successful Relationship by Will Irvin, now available from Lulu.com in paperback, hardcover, and for download.